It Has Been A Week

It has been a week since Hubby left us. So far so good. I can firmly say my emotions are stable now. i repeat ..STABLE. Dah tak mudah nak nangis bila dgr lagu-lagu jiwang jiwang ni.
Thank you Sam ...for the comforting words.. I appreciate that.

Life is back to normal. Everyday..drive to Mama's drop the kids and off to work. After work to Mama's lepak2 makan2 ..drive home and sleep. That's my routine everyday.

During the absence of hubby, I will be undergoing MRO. That is if everything goes well as planned. Oh ya...before i forget, I saw on Carrefour's catalogue..the elliptical bike is going for RM 299. I don't know if its worth it to buy or not. I probably need that as part of my MRO process. But I'm also thinking if I should just get a stepper...selling for only 120..on ebay. According to a friend of mine, she cycles on the bike everyday for at least 20 mins 7 days a week and she could see a more decent shape of the thighs and buns.

But I'm just afraid that if I buy....it will be just a display item. Like ..hubby bought this Ab-Bench yang konon-kononnyer if u do everyday..within 14 days...u will get fabulous abs......... We did it for the first 3 days..tapi lepas tu..hmmm hampeh.....

So for this MRO procedure, I've purchased a bottle of health supplement drink. I hope it works.

Today is Friday..Yippeee!!! Can't wait to go back....
I already know what i wanna do tommorow. First half of the day..I''ll turn into a potato couch and watch the marathon Korean Drama on KBS World...and perhaps..later bring the kids somewhere.....
Sighh...wish u were here Hubby...

Bye for now...

P/s: MRO is maintainance, repair and overhaul..hehehee

A sweet email....

The first thing that i usually do when i reach office every morning is to check my emails. Luckily Boss is out of office since yesterday afternoon..so there shoudn't be any urgent mails or new tasks assigned. As i scrolled down... I saw an email from my long time no see hubby.

It was a simple and sweet email with a link to his favourite arabic music video. And it comes with the translation. Its such a sweet song...as i read the lyrics....*sniff* sedih la pulak.
And I guess the lyric is a direct translation from arabic. So pepaham jelah bila direct translation kan. But if u watch the video and compare the lyrics...u will understand what the song is all about.Here's the lyric and the music video.....Thank you sayang..so sweet of you..=).

When I was in your hands
I melted in my place
And I forgot my lifetime with you
And the time that passed with me was seconds
Draw me close
And let me live my feelings with you

I defy the whole world when I'm with you
And I say to the world itself that I love you
That you are my darling and my heart
And my soul is with you
Draw me close
And let me live my feelings with you

My adoration for you is an adoration of the moon from a star
And sleepless nights
And my desire for you is beyond the imagination
And beyond the possibilities of man
From the day I met you live has been sweet

With you I am challenging all that is present
Either I'll be with you or I won't be
I will not live without your love
My heart adores you madly

27/10/2008

Today is Mon and a public holiday. Didn’t have any plans today coz sista have got to go to office for some discussion. Ceh…I shud report this to the ministry of HR.
Oh well..the kids are bored rite now…and terpaksalah tgk DVD-meet dave while waiting to go to the park.

And me..i do not know what to do after this. Probably counting hours and minutes to go to work tomorrow..after a long break. Sigh…….AND …URRGHHH of course like there will be tones of tasks waiting to be executed…cehhh!!! I wish I’m a freelancer…

Chow for now………..


We went for dinner at Mak Jah Warung Kopi in Bukit Jelutong. The food is good!!
The Nasi Goreng Kampung is ssoooo delicious. No wonder memang ramai yang makan at Mak Jah.

When we arrived at Mak Jah, I wondered why we were directed to seat outside. Rupanyer ada shooting scheduled there. When I turned back, I saw Nanu, Rushdi Ramli and a few others.I don’t know for what filem/ drama. But one thing I’m sure is it’s a Shuhaimie Baba’s Production…..

Oh well…biarlah..janji my tummy kenyang…..=)

Good nite hubby..love you.

26/10/2008

We went to the zoo today. Ayang and Ira joined us. The last time I went to the zoo was I think 20 years ago..itupun school trip hehehe. I guess hubby and me are not so rajin like my sis and bro-in law. Ever since my nephew was 1, they brought him to the zoo every year without fail. Kalo dulu..the hippo was stil single , now dah beranak pinak..hehheheh.

Since it was a Sunday and on a long weekend, ramainya orang berkunjung ke Zoo. The entry fee pun dah increase(dari dulu la…according to my sis yang merupakan pengunjung setia zoo setiap tahun)…adults RM15 and kids RM6.

We began our little journey inside the zoo by visiting the elephants and the giraffes. Amir was sooo excited …..But then, second half of the journey, he was errr expressionless. Don’t know why but probably because of the hot weather and mengantuk kot.
The petting zoo for kids was closed for upgrading.

At about 1230 we were done. Drove to Pak Li Kopitiam in Sek 7 Shah Alam.
What’s good here…hmm I like the Nasi Ayam Lemon.Yummy!!! the kids loved it. We ordered 2 sets of fish and chips for them but in the end, they ate the nasi ayam lemon. The rice tasted like the usual nasi ayam but the chicken is crispy fried chicken with lemon sauce..i think.

Bila perut pun dah kenyang…memang rasa nak tido. We went back to my house and zzz…zzzz….zzz sampai petang. Bila everyone dah bangun…. Biasalah minum petang with kuih raya. Ayang and Ira left when it was almost magrib.
And suddenly…the feeling of misery …loneliness…and blah blah blah..attacked me again. Well.. I was not alone…my sis felt the same..coz both of us sanggap at our hubby.

Over and above….there were 3 people in the house yang very happy… my sons and Aqid. They were so happy…as though they were on vacation…heheh.

Hubby called later that night…tq sayang for calling again….I know u missed us too!!!

Good nite!!

Diary of a Temporary Single (but Not available) Supermom

25/10/2008

Today, we went to mom’s.had breakfast and then everyone went off to open house la, org kawin la… Me? Well.. I decided to pick up a parcel for hubby at the Post laju Centre at Brickfields. It contained a Pashmina, and 2 jubah. It was from hubby’s friend in Terengganu.

Then we went to Tesco Damansara…..KFC for lunch.

Pastu jejalan je kat Tesco tu ..bought some food stuff coz tonite my sistas will be sleeping over. Tomorrow we plan to bring the kids to the ZOO.

I wanted to bring Apai to the zoo looong time ago. Masa tu, ingat nak tunggu dia besar sket..bila dia dah besar…mama preganant pulak..so tak larat nak gi zoo. So I guess this is the rite time lah nak gi zoo. Takut kalo delay lagi…kang mama pregnant lagi pulak..hheheheh alamat sampai besar la hangpa tak pi zoo nooo.

Rite now…yang ada kat rumah is me, Amir and bibik. Apai went to Aqid’s house..and will be coming home later.

Hmmm in the car just now..bibik told me that she don’t want to sambung contract….
Nak balik kawin and jaga mak dia sakit. Adeehhhhhh…apo nak buek…….lepas ni kena train lain la nampaknye..duit pun terbang lagilah jawabnya….

Sedih jugak rasa…sebab tak tau la pulak lepas ni dapat bibik yang macamana.
I just hope we’ll get someone yang reliable jugak macam sekarang ni.
Although dulu banyak jugak la incident yag menyakitkan hati..tapi..she did well in taking care of my kids..itu pun yang penting skali.

Hmmmph……..=(.

Miss you sayang…take care.

Diary of a Temporary Single (but Not available) Supermom

24/10/2008

Last night, the three of us slept with hubby’s unwashed kain pelekat and his white pagoda shirt. Just to get ourselves to sleep and pretending that he’s around. We slept early….not in the mood to watch any shows on tv. I guess I dozed off at around 945pm after cleaning up some space in my handphone’s Inbox and reading all messages from hubby before he left.

It wasn’t a smooth sleep. I woke up at 1030…for nothing.

130 am ..received a text message from him

Read : I’ve arrived and currently queuing at the immigration. Gud nite and luv u all.

Alhamdullilah….he has arrived safely. I know their next journey is heading towards Mekah to perform Umrah. I went back to sleep…but woke up every now and then…..finally at 6.00 I woke up to perform Subuh prayer. And here I am writing till now.

Just for the record.. I’m taking medical leave today…..nope…not sick…but just unstable emotions. (is there such term?)

I guess…to calm my ‘chaotic’ hormones… I need to go on a shopping therapy alone.

Yeah..there’s a METROJAYA warehouse sale today. =)

Love u sayang..will be waiting for ur next sms……


130 pm…I received another text message from hubby dearest. He informed that they have completed Umrah after subuh Mekah time. And will depart to Madinah after Friday prayers. And he reminded me to inform Mak (Mom-In-Law) of his latest update.

Will do honey..tried calling her just now…but no one picked up. Will try again after this.

8.45 pm- everybody was already in bed. Amir’s battery ‘konged’ quite early tonite. Perhaps he was so tired due to his ‘busy’ schedule. In addition, he took his nap for just 15 mins so that explains why. Apai…as usual… didn’t stop asking me this and that…sometimes I felt bad sebab kekadang malas nak layan dia pok pek pok pek. But I know its not good if I tak layan dia cakap. I was surprised when he suddenly said..

“ Apai nak mintak maaf kat papa”

“Haaa?? Why?”
“Sebab Apai noti kat Papa”.

“ Oh..ok…takpelah nanti bila papa call Apai cakap kat Papa k?”

I continued to clean the bathroom. He came to me again….and whispered at my ears

“ Apai mintak maaf”

In my heart….leeehhh apahal plak budak ni asyik nak mintak maaf je ni.

“ Ok sayang…mama pun nak mintak maaf kat Apai…if mama ada marah2( memang banyak pun..heheheh) apai k. Just for your info… mama marah bukan sebab mama tak sayang… tapi sebab …mama SAYANG sangat kat Apai… tau…”

“OK..”

While I was getting ready to sleep …after taking flu medication…( baru 9.15pm…haiihh….memang tak terusik la Astro sepanjang hubby tak de ni..)…Apai said,

“Mama…rindu sangat-sangat la kat papa…...apai rasa tak boleh tunggu la lama2 4 papa to come home….”

“Apai sabar la..nanti tak lama lagi Papa balik laaa”


“Mama ..jom tgk gambar papa..”

After looking again-and again and his papa’s pics….I told him to sleep.

And seconds later…. I fell into a very deep sleep…(sebab ubat)

But as I was enjoying my sleep…tetibe the phone rang…..It was Kakak…(my eldest sister who is also holding the same status as I am…”temporary single super-mom” sebab hubby went to Bali ..but notfor long..in a few days time..he’ll be back. And while he’s away…she and my neph checked in at mom’s)

“ Siata….vat are u doing?”

“errrm sleeping..” , I answerd..dengan penuh mamainye.

“ Oh..guess what… Ira (my youngest sis who is 17) got kutu..hehehhe”

“Huhhh? Oh really…ok…”, I said with my eyes closed..mengantuk sgt.

“Oklah..are u coming 2morrow? Cause I got work and my son’s gonna be lonely if Apai takde”

“ok..I’ll come in the morning..”

“Ok”
“bye..”, and I hung up.

Then around 11ish …got sms from hubby..yeayy!!!

Tapi masih dalam keadaan mengantuk…I tried so hard to read the text with eyes half open..

He said.. he’s on the way to Madinah..and it’s gonna be a long journey…he’ll update upon arrival at Madinah.

Luv u hubby……take care.

Oh ya.. I forgot to mention that for my retail therapy, I spent almost 300 bucks…on what…? I pun tak sure..hehehe it felt like I was hypnotized during the therapy. Oh well..just a few items for myself and the rest for the house…..

P/s: Hubby.if u’r reading this…don’t worry…I did not over spend and I paid my credit card bills already….=).

Diary of a Temporary Single (but Not available) Supermom

23/10/2008

The day has finally arrived. The day my life became empty.
For one second today, it felt like there was no air to breathe when he let my hand go and slowly disappear from my vision…..

I suddenly woke up in the midst of a deep sleep. …It was only 4 am.
My angels were sleeping soundly. I turned to the other side and felt so relieved to see my other half sleeping peacefully. Yes..the miserable feeling has attacked me again in the early hours of Thursday morning. My cheeks felt hot…and soon…drops of tears rolled down…again..for..i don’t know kali ke berapa. Didn’t want to disturb his sleep, I sat at the end of the bed and just watched him sleep….still with tears running.

It felt strange to have this kind of feeling especially when this is not the first time he left for Haj. And usually, people say when u have kids with you…takdelah sedih sgt. Nope..its the other way round for me.

I moved closer to him …and starred at him blankly. Squeezed myself and made my way around his arms so that I can fall asleep again.

9.30 am we reached Kompleks Haji Kelana Jaya. Dropped him off and went straight to Mama’s and waited for his call. Then around 11 am, he called and it was time to leave for KLIA.

At about 12..we reached KLIA,after check- in, we headed towards Mc Donalds….for our last family lunch. The kids were excited and were running around. Sigh…maybe diorang tak faham lagi what’s going to happen later.

At this point of time, I managed my emotions quite well. Didn’t wanna make it so obvious in front of the kids and him. Then, Mama and Ira joined us. Time flies so fast today. …sigh..I wish I have the power to stop the clock from ticking…

2.50 pm…it was time for him to go…as we walked towards the escalator….i tried so hard not to burst into tears but I failed when he hugged and kissed the kids again and again…. And when it was my turn to salam….I broke down. We hugged each other….” Jgn la sedih….love you…drive carefully k..” I know he was sad too…but men..biasalahkan…tak macam kita ..yang tak boleh control langsung. Slowly…he let go of me …and walked away until there was no sight of him.

My vision was blurred. I walked towards the parking area. But all the way…I just don’t know what I was looking at….everything seems blur…I just followed the signage that says “P”.

Got into the car and drove slowly….while driving… I managed to text him…

“LUV U”
He replied “TAKE CARE…LUV U TOO…ALREADY IN THE AIRCRAFT…=(“


I drove on….and biasalah the journey from KLIA to our home…rasanya…
Adalah dalam 3 baldi air mata yang berjaya ditakung.

We reached home….and as I walked up the stairs heading towards our room….i cried again..sebab rasa macam tak sanggup nak masuk bilik because the thought of …his portion of our bed will be empty for the next 3 mths…

As usual ( I did this everytime he left for Haj) the first thing that I did was to smell his pillow coz…by doing that…I can smell him….

I hope this feeling of misery won’t be for long.

I love u sayang..till we meet again….

Mission Accomplished!!!!

Cuti hari raya dis year,....hubby took just a few days off..while i took almost a week off. So masa cuti n masa hubby off to work....I was bored!!! Boring gile....dok makan..tgk tv..mkan kuih raya...tido..masak...then lepak lepak.

On that fateful Friday....just about 3 hours before hubby balik....I decided to do a little makeover to my bathroom. You see...when we moved in ...we didn't have enough $$$$$ to pasang shower screeen. So we used our shower curtain rod masa rumah kat Kota Damansara and letaklah kat dalam toilet tu. But the problem was... the rod was too long....so we had to hang it frm wall to wall...outside the shower area. I soooo don't like the sight of it....

O.k sambung cerita...so on that Friday evening...i thought of this brilliant idea....kenapa tak potong je rod according to the measurement of the bathing area.Yep..!! I shall do it....myself..no need to wait for hubby. Went to the storeroom and took hubby's tool box. Found the mini-saw for besi. Apa lagi...Opps mengergaji shower curtain rod pun bermula....

Potong punya potong.... tak perasan pulak dalam the extended rod tu ada spring...the spring la yang mengfirmkan curtain rod tu hang on the wall. I decided to throw the spring away and just use the original rod. Measurement correct....and now...nak hang balik kat the designated tempat. Before that..time check...lagi one hour to hubby coming back...ok..sempat lagi ni!!!!

This is the most challenging part for me....when i placed it on the wall...it won't stay!!!!It dropped...so how can it support the shower curtains? Damm!!! I'm racing with time..and now...this thing won't stick on the wall!! What am i going to say to hubby when he gets home?

After putting so much effort on it.. and my baju pun dah basah gila because of peluh keringat...I gave up. It won't work. I cleaned up the mess....rolled up the bathroom carpets....and brought the 'injured' rod down ...to the backyard of course!!!(kenala suruk kat belakang-belakang sikit). I shall leave no evidence.....!!!!

I cleaned the bathroom....and dumped the shower curtain in the washing machine. Told Bibik to run the machine the next morning. Aren't I smart??? ....yealah..mesti dia ingat shower curtain takde sebab basuh ...sebab toilet pun baru lepas cuci....hehehee....

When he came back....me make dunno..like nothing happened..

For a week...we had no shower curtain. He didn't ask..but from his body language..I know he knows something is not rite. Tapi i terpaksa berlakon as though nothing happen ...biasala maintain macam diva. Last friday...I bought a new rod....and malam tu jugak hubby pasangkan.Fuuhh lega...... finally mission accomplished!!!!

P/s: till now it's still a secret...sorry hubby, didn't mean to keep it from you...but i had tooo. =)

Mama Jangan Cry Ok?

Another 12 more days to hubby leaving for Madinah. Since yesterday i've been so emo. Bertambahlah emo-nyer when i watched the filem Ayat-ayat Cinta. I'm not a fan of Indonesian filems but this one really touched my heart. I think I'm gonna get the DVD so that i can watch it over and over again.


It was last nite that i cried when the thought of hubby going really soon. The last 2 haj season wasn't that bad because he went only for 2 weeks. But this time..it's the second time that he's leaving for almost 3 months. The first time he left was the year we got married. And to be exact..I was 6months pregnant. I couldn't explain how miserable it was without looking at his face every day ..and had some sleepless nites for 3 months. Those nites when i had cramps....and nites when i coughed so badly that i couldn't sleep at all. Those were the times when i needed him the most. To rub my back..and my legs when i had cramps. I wish i don't have to go through it again.


Just after solat Magrib just now...i tried to imagine my nights and weekends without him....Oh no...what am I gonna do?


Seconds later Apai came in. He looked at me...and then he started to imagine himself in the world of Upin & Ipin.





I held his hand. I told him that I'm really sad because papa is leaving.....then i started crying.



" Mama, nape mama cry?"



" Mama sedih sgt..nantikan papa nak pergi...Apai tak sedih ke?"



"Tak lah...mana boleh..boy mesti keras-keras... tak boleh cry"



"hmm ok ...good boy".



I told him how sad I was when his papa went for the first time and during that time he was still in my tummy.



I cried again....



" Mama...jgn cry ok....bila papa pergi nanti...malam-malam nak tido..mama pegang tangan apai kuat-kuat...Apai kan ada."



"ok..."



Thank you sayang..i know i can always count on you ..although lately I'm stressed due to your unpredictable attitude.



Even right now..when I'm typing this, he's right beside me...talking non- stop about Upin& Ipin, about his friend Akmal, questioning me why we didn't go to Aunty Pooh's house to see her baby..because he wants duit raya...



Thank you for being my little sunshine.....=)

Yesterday was the first time that i stepped my feet on the grounds of Institut Jantung Negara. I have a family history of heart problem. My arwah nenek (dad's) passed away 2 years ago due to heart failure.It is true that people say that heart attack is a silent killer. We only got to know that nenek had this heart problem just a few months before she left us. And yesterday, my dad had another round of angiogram. The first he had was last year. Lcukily it was not so serious as he is no required to stay overnight at IJN. So...dat worries me because genetically, I may have the same problem sooner or later. Dat scares me....specially when my diet is sssooo not healthy, and I hate exercising. Yikes...!!!



After spending half of the day at IJN, I went to Ampang Park to search for the sarong of my blue cotton linen baju kurung. I was dissapointed when my tailor failed to source for the material of the baju. Dad bought it during one of his trips to Jakarta.But the material is onlu enuf for the baju.Went to all the boutiques there. It was so hard finding the right color and the material.

But it didn't take long.... i finally found one that i liked....and best of all, its kinda cheap and comes together with the baju. So I have 2 baju and a kain that i can wear.And that makes my day!!.



Dah penat berjalan...i spent some quite little time...all by myself at the Old Town Kopitiam.Phewww...it felt so goood when you found the things that you were looking for so badly and felt good too when you get to sip hot coffee and satisfies the tummy with a plate of dry curry mee...yummy!!!



haaaahh..how nice...i wish i don't have to go back to work....too bad i have 2 more days left before going back to the h*ll H*le. Wish me luck!!

From Ramadhan to Syawal

This year's Ramadhan was a little different from the previous. Naaaahhh...i did not turn into Nigella Lawson....I didn't really cook that much although we didn't buy food at Pasar Ramadhan. This year ...Mon-Fri, all of us buka at mama's. Only weekends that i cook for buka puasa. Itu pun bukan nya special sangat ...just the usual, buah gula melaka...then i made Kebab, Kueh teow soup, soo-hoon goreng, pita stuffed with chicken mayo....ahhaaa this year i tried to make nasi kerabu ...from scratch. Bisalah hubby liked it but tak taulah if dia nak ambil hati je. To me everything turned out well...cuma the sambal is a little bit termasam.



I also tried to loose some weight in this holy month. Well.. i did loose a few Kgs....but i gained it back during syawal. So i can conclude that i did not loose any weight. How sad.....

This year's preparation for Syawal pun tak lah macam dulu. Very simple and i did it verrry slowly. I bought the kids baju raya about a week before raya.(Tunggu ISETAN sale) Then the baju Melayu, songkok and samping...4 days before raya. Mannnnn...we went hunting for the baju Melayu like crazy. On saturday we went to PKNS, Alam Sentral, SACC , finally The curve. at SACC MAll, found the right colour with the right material from OMAR ALI....but it was the last piece and worst still its not a baju melayu but a baju kurung for a five year old kid!!. On Sunday we went to Ampang Point, Ampang Park and finally..last resort...the place that i was trying to avoid.. Jalan Tuanku Abdul Rahman. We buka puasa in the car, in the parking area of Pertaman Complex. Had some chicken nuggets and a slice of wedges and off we go for the baju melayu hunt. I was so deperate and exhausted at that ponint of time. I told my other half.....i just don't care anymore if the color matches his baju.... i'm just tired....

Betul la kata orang..kalao dah jodoh takkan kemana. We found the colour that is quite similar to the one my other half will be wearing. Without thinking further..we took it. Haaaahhh lega....



Since this year, we celebrate Raya in Perlis, we had a family photo shoot 2 days before raya. Everyone berposing sakan and it really felt like it was already raya..hehehe. Thanks to my make-up artist. I thoht she did my eyes quite well.. I liked it...but to my surprise.. my darling nephew commented "ewww you looked like a ghost" hahahahahaa...



So thats it.... i have to go... i'll probably continue when time permits.