23/10/2008
The day has finally arrived. The day my life became empty.
For one second today, it felt like there was no air to breathe when he let my hand go and slowly disappear from my vision…..
I suddenly woke up in the midst of a deep sleep. …It was only 4 am.
My angels were sleeping soundly. I turned to the other side and felt so relieved to see my other half sleeping peacefully. Yes..the miserable feeling has attacked me again in the early hours of Thursday morning. My cheeks felt hot…and soon…drops of tears rolled down…again..for..i don’t know kali ke berapa. Didn’t want to disturb his sleep, I sat at the end of the bed and just watched him sleep….still with tears running.
It felt strange to have this kind of feeling especially when this is not the first time he left for Haj. And usually, people say when u have kids with you…takdelah sedih sgt. Nope..its the other way round for me.
I moved closer to him …and starred at him blankly. Squeezed myself and made my way around his arms so that I can fall asleep again.
9.30 am we reached Kompleks Haji Kelana Jaya. Dropped him off and went straight to Mama’s and waited for his call. Then around 11 am, he called and it was time to leave for KLIA.
At about 12..we reached KLIA,after check- in, we headed towards Mc Donalds….for our last family lunch. The kids were excited and were running around. Sigh…maybe diorang tak faham lagi what’s going to happen later.
At this point of time, I managed my emotions quite well. Didn’t wanna make it so obvious in front of the kids and him. Then, Mama and Ira joined us. Time flies so fast today. …sigh..I wish I have the power to stop the clock from ticking…
2.50 pm…it was time for him to go…as we walked towards the escalator….i tried so hard not to burst into tears but I failed when he hugged and kissed the kids again and again…. And when it was my turn to salam….I broke down. We hugged each other….” Jgn la sedih….love you…drive carefully k..” I know he was sad too…but men..biasalahkan…tak macam kita ..yang tak boleh control langsung. Slowly…he let go of me …and walked away until there was no sight of him.
My vision was blurred. I walked towards the parking area. But all the way…I just don’t know what I was looking at….everything seems blur…I just followed the signage that says “P”.
Got into the car and drove slowly….while driving… I managed to text him…
“LUV U”
He replied “TAKE CARE…LUV U TOO…ALREADY IN THE AIRCRAFT…=(“
I drove on….and biasalah the journey from KLIA to our home…rasanya…
Adalah dalam 3 baldi air mata yang berjaya ditakung.
We reached home….and as I walked up the stairs heading towards our room….i cried again..sebab rasa macam tak sanggup nak masuk bilik because the thought of …his portion of our bed will be empty for the next 3 mths…
As usual ( I did this everytime he left for Haj) the first thing that I did was to smell his pillow coz…by doing that…I can smell him….
I hope this feeling of misery won’t be for long.
I love u sayang..till we meet again….
The day has finally arrived. The day my life became empty.
For one second today, it felt like there was no air to breathe when he let my hand go and slowly disappear from my vision…..
I suddenly woke up in the midst of a deep sleep. …It was only 4 am.
My angels were sleeping soundly. I turned to the other side and felt so relieved to see my other half sleeping peacefully. Yes..the miserable feeling has attacked me again in the early hours of Thursday morning. My cheeks felt hot…and soon…drops of tears rolled down…again..for..i don’t know kali ke berapa. Didn’t want to disturb his sleep, I sat at the end of the bed and just watched him sleep….still with tears running.
It felt strange to have this kind of feeling especially when this is not the first time he left for Haj. And usually, people say when u have kids with you…takdelah sedih sgt. Nope..its the other way round for me.
I moved closer to him …and starred at him blankly. Squeezed myself and made my way around his arms so that I can fall asleep again.
9.30 am we reached Kompleks Haji Kelana Jaya. Dropped him off and went straight to Mama’s and waited for his call. Then around 11 am, he called and it was time to leave for KLIA.
At about 12..we reached KLIA,after check- in, we headed towards Mc Donalds….for our last family lunch. The kids were excited and were running around. Sigh…maybe diorang tak faham lagi what’s going to happen later.
At this point of time, I managed my emotions quite well. Didn’t wanna make it so obvious in front of the kids and him. Then, Mama and Ira joined us. Time flies so fast today. …sigh..I wish I have the power to stop the clock from ticking…
2.50 pm…it was time for him to go…as we walked towards the escalator….i tried so hard not to burst into tears but I failed when he hugged and kissed the kids again and again…. And when it was my turn to salam….I broke down. We hugged each other….” Jgn la sedih….love you…drive carefully k..” I know he was sad too…but men..biasalahkan…tak macam kita ..yang tak boleh control langsung. Slowly…he let go of me …and walked away until there was no sight of him.
My vision was blurred. I walked towards the parking area. But all the way…I just don’t know what I was looking at….everything seems blur…I just followed the signage that says “P”.
Got into the car and drove slowly….while driving… I managed to text him…
“LUV U”
He replied “TAKE CARE…LUV U TOO…ALREADY IN THE AIRCRAFT…=(“
I drove on….and biasalah the journey from KLIA to our home…rasanya…
Adalah dalam 3 baldi air mata yang berjaya ditakung.
We reached home….and as I walked up the stairs heading towards our room….i cried again..sebab rasa macam tak sanggup nak masuk bilik because the thought of …his portion of our bed will be empty for the next 3 mths…
As usual ( I did this everytime he left for Haj) the first thing that I did was to smell his pillow coz…by doing that…I can smell him….
I hope this feeling of misery won’t be for long.
I love u sayang..till we meet again….
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